I Want To Talk 2020

I want to talk 2020, but I don’t want to talk COVID-19. I don't want to talk about everything that was taken from us or how 2020 was the worst year imaginable. I want to talk about 2020 as a year of growth, because that’s the truth.

Some of you may be rolling your eyes or lifting an eyebrow at me, but stick with me, alright?

Everyone seems to hear the year 2020 and immediately cringe. Why is COVID the only thing we can talk about in regard to 2020? I think that we have talked about 2020 being the year of the coronavirus so much that it has become a habit to immediately react negatively about 2020 as a whole. Maybe it is just me, but I am over it. I am done talking about one thing that seems to have affected everyone's year.

Answer this honestly, did it affect your whole year? Did you not get to do anything? Did you not get to talk to your family? Did you not get to hangout with friends? Did you not get to finish that book you have wanted to finish for years? Did you not get to be creative with your home workouts? Did you not get to take time to yourself that was most likely needed?

I know there were negatives, I am not saying there was no hardship. People lost jobs, we experienced sickness, there were testing of waters. Was a lot of this because of COVID? Yes. But did you come out of it? I’m going to take a wild guess and say if you're reading this, I bet you did.

Let’s get vulnerable. 2020 was what I would call stirring for me. I had to leave my second home, Atchison. I lost friends. I gained friends. I was able to return to my second home for sophomore year. There was the stress of multiple quarantines. I strengthened my relationship with my family. Things turned chaotic. I took a dive, meaning I was at my lowest of lows.

School took a turn, I was overthinking everything, my anxiety was spiking. The worst part was I thought I had to keep it all together. I forced myself to put on a face and ignore the signs. Then, I took time to realize what the important things are in life. This was the hardest but most beautiful thing that 2020 could have possibly given me. I really found myself. Like, seriously found myself. I stopped being afraid of being different. I stopped trying to please everyone. I stopped hiding behind a smile. I stopped thinking that I was not good enough. I stopped thinking that I had no purpose. I stopped feeling sorry for myself. All this to realize that success is fueled by the rock bottoms, disappointments, tragedies, and failures all in one. What if all our 2020 troubles actually lead to a greater blessing and purpose? Why should I dwell on the hard days when I have every opportunity to make it great? A friend once told me that every day you wake up is one to celebrate. Why waste your time? Are you not supposed to seize the day?

A few (basic but real) things I learned:

• Surrendering is something I hate but love

• Suffering is necessary

• Appreciate the little things

• You are more resilient than you know

• Battle the invisible with the invisible

• Time is valuable, sacred, fleeting, healing, and a teacher

• It’s OK to address your problematic thoughts

What if 2020 was the year we all needed? A year so uncomfortable, painful, scary, and raw. So needed, that it finally forced us to grow.

At the beginning of the year everyone was making resolutions. Four months later, the world is ending and focusing on our goals stopped? Now, at the end of the year, everyone seems to be looking back and only seeing the negative. Complaining about things that are out of our control. WHY are we dwelling on the past? Dwelling on the negatives? You don’t want to live in the past, do you? Come on people, let's quit fearing change.

Everyone should take some time to reflect on the last 365 days. Don’t know where to start? Try answering these:

• What did you learn?

• Where did you see God?

• What brought you joy?

• Who do you need to thank for helping you make it through the year? Go thank them.

• What is a memory from this past year that you’ll be holding onto forever?

• Who are you leaving behind in 2020?

• What are you taking with you into 2021?

There was hurting, but this is necessary for healing. The world needed this time. You needed this time. It might be hard to see that in the moment, just take a deep breath.

I want to leave you with a goal for 2021. Not everyone may agree with me that 2020 brought good. However, I think everyone will agree with me that we need more love in this world. Do not make people search for love. It should be everywhere we turn. It is not only an action we share or something people feel. Love is how we treat others. Love is how we carry ourselves. Love is who we are. Love is us. Bob Goff says, “Jesus talked a lot about how we should identify ourselves. He said it wouldn’t be what we said we believed or all the good we hoped to do someday. He said we would identify ourselves simply by how we loved people. Love isn’t something we fall into; love is someone we become.”

Reflect on 2020, be grateful for what you have, know that better days are coming. Love big, my friends.

Stay golden,

M