Not Good At Goodbyes

“Sign up for this class. Registration is just around the corner. Apply to this job. We’re interested in you. Send us your resume. Confirm graduation information.” Never ending emails all semester long to remind me that I was not coming back for the spring semester. It was when it was time to register for classes when I realized I was graduating. Not having the stress of fitting in classes, trying to work around having an 8 a.m., making sure I am still on track to completing the requirements on time. The stress of having to finish another semester of classes was lifted off my shoulders. Then the slight moment of relief subsided and the stress of life after graduation fell right back on me. But, that’s a story for another time.

All the boxes are checked. Soccer is over. Exams have been taken. Final grades are out. 143 credits have been completed. All fees are paid. Exit counseling has happened. There are no more winter weights. My apartment is packed up. I said all my goodbyes. I drove over Amelia Bridge one last time (at least as a student). I made the four hour drive home. Now all I can do is reflect.

Benedictine College was a second home to me. A home where you avoid walking up the Raven walk because you don’t want to be sweating when you get to class. A home were you race to Cafe 62 before the in between class rush. Where you immediately check to see if the big booth is open in Holy Grounds. A home where you complain about no parking spots. Or maybe you do rock, paper, scissors to see which car gets the spot. A home where you could walk down the stairs of your dorm and run into a chapel. Or have to make the decision whether to go to mass at the Abbey or St. Bens. A home in a little town called Atchison, Kansas where we create our own adventures. Like driving down backroads until we found the perfect sunset or stargazing spots. Or claiming the hammock posts on campus to soak in some sun. A home that consisted of Scho 412, Liz 303, The Loft, and Cherie’s. A home where no matter where you went, you were going to see someone you knew.

Three and a half years of growth and memories to hold with me forever. I’ve laughed, I’ve cried, I’ve been up and been down, felt victory and felt defeat. I had to learn how to live on my own, learn how to motivate myself. I had to learn to balance the student-athlete life. Meaning the school side, sports side, and fun side of college. And let me tell you, it was not an easy task. I learned that it’s ok to change your major (Madalynn I hope you’re reading this). I learned how to get through a worldwide pandemic. Being sent home permanently after spring break, virtual classes, mask mandates when we were back on campus, athletic events canceled, COVID testing 24/7, five different quarantines, and the school so close to being shut down sophomore year. I took a wide variety of classes and got to dip my toe in a lot of interests. I found my place. I found my people. I found my home. The college experience was definitely one for the books.

I’m not very good at saying goodbye. I feel like part of me is being taken away. Not in a rude way, but in a “this is life” way. Yeah yeah I know, “Once a Raven, Always a Raven.” But it isn’t the same. I will miss the sight of a busy campus and the drive down 2nd Street. I’ll miss the unexpected run-ins with friends in town. I’ll miss knowing that I’ll be able to see everyone at Mueller’s or High Voltage on Saturday night. Now, it is officially on to the next step, adult life. New state, new city, first apartment, first job, new friends, and the weirdest one, a salary. I’m happy to have experienced all the ups and downs Benedictine and Atchison threw my way. They taught me who I am.

So, goodbye Benedictine College. Goodbye Atchison, Kansas. Thanks for letting me be a part of the Raven family. It was a good ride and all I can say is thank you.

M