Let Go

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” Steve Maraboli, dropping some truth.

I'll get straight to the point. Life is hard. We learn through our experiences and it impacts our future, but continuing to dwell on the past? No. It’s ok to give yourself time, let yourself heal. But to not let yourself move forward? Things are going to happen that will sting. Things that will take a toll on us. But c’est la vie, that’s life. Let go. Release the things that are holding you back from living your life. Release yourself. Let go of the need to control. If you try to control, it’s going to suffocate you. That’s the funny thing about control. You would think that control would give you peace of mind. So why doesn't it? Maybe because we are not meant to live our lives for ourselves. We are meant to live for Christ. You know, the one who does have control. Once you realize that your mindset should be about surrendering and not controlling, you find yourself at peace. You give yourself the ability to step back and focus on the good. When you focus on the good, the good only gets better.

So here is my question. What is keeping you from focusing on the good? What do you have to let go of? Friend drama? Past relationship pain? Family issues? Let me try to give you some pointers that helped me, but before I share, know that this is not easy. This mindset is not something that you can change in a day. All I have to say is persevere.

Now, if you continue reading, these are things that I did not want to face when I was struggling to let go. These are things I felt I could not do because there would be backlash. Looking back, I see that it was stupid to think that. Know that you are not alone. I hope you keep reading.

Point one, reduce contact. Take time to yourself. Nothing is wrong with communicating that you need some time away. Whether this be physically taking time to yourself or deleting social media, this grounds you. Do not fill your mind to the rim with lies. Do not try to distract yourself. Face what happened, be honest with yourself, and focus on your next step.

Two, forgive them. My personal struggle. It’s ok to give yourself some time, but there’s a point when you need to stop letting these things eat at you. Forgiving the other releases you of that pain. But you can’t just say it. You have to mean it. You can mean it through prayer, praying for the other person, asking that they find peace and do well in life. You can remember the pain they brought you, but do not let the little things come back and take over your life. You do not want them to control your life because you are too stubborn to forgive them. My way to give up control consists of writing for you guys. I would always journal in the past as a way to vent. Now, venting to outsiders brings me peace. Then there is the bonus of hoping you all get something out of reading them. Find a way to forgive them. I believe in you.

Three, recognize that they aren’t the one for you. Yes, I am still talking about both friendships, relationships, and toxic thoughts. People grow apart. Being honest with yourself will only help you. Asking yourself, “Do they help me grow?” Or, “Is this connection what I need in my life?” If you answer no, start telling yourself that it’s ok they’re gone. Nothing is wrong with either of you, but there is someone else out there who will allow you to answer yes to these questions. Letting go will help you find that person. This is the same with yourself. You can be your worst enemy. Let go of those toxic thoughts you are grasping. You can't tell me you like thinking like this.

Why would you hold on to someone or something that is not good for you? Is it because you want to save face? Are you scared of what could happen if you “drop” them? Do you want pointers for your social media presence? Since when did we let others live our lives for us? When are we going to put a stop to it?

Now, after you find your way to cope with what happened in the past, you must learn to be patient with yourself. Small details can unlock powerful memories. Painful memories that can easily be brought to light again. But are you going to let that control the rest of your life? Do you realize how long you could live? And do you realize that these moments only take up a second of your life when you think of the big picture?

Live for you first. Don’t grasp things just because you think you need to. Don’t hold things that have trapped you, manipulated you, or have stopped you from being you. Sometimes we ask Christ to change our circumstances, but the truth is, Christ is asking you to trust him. All you have to do is commit to Him and He will put your destiny in motion.

Let go.

Stay golden,

M